Being willing to answer is a sign of affection, but not helping you is a duty: please learn to "ask the right questions" first
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This article was originally published in “Ku Qing Ku Ye @ Cheers”
Hey, do you like asking questions? Do you ask questions? The Romanian playwright Eugene Ionesco once said: “It is not the answers that are inspiring and thought-provoking, but the questions.”
I have always liked this sentence. If we can ask questions bravely and ask the right questions, most of the problems in life will be solved. Just like Chrissy. Clark-Epstein(Chris “[Ask questions, lead people]” (https://www.books.com.tw/exep/assp.php/vista/products/0010453530?utm_source=vi) written by Clarke-Epstein sta&utm_medium=ap-books&utm_content=recommend&utm_campaign=ap-202004)》The same principle is revealed in this book. If you can ask questions wisely, you and I will benefit from the dialogue process, not just the answers.
To put it bluntly, when I was a child, I was not a student who loved asking questions. Instead, I preferred to dive into the world of books and try to find answers on my own. But as I get older, I like to ask questions more and more, and I am more willing to interact with people through the process of asking questions, and I try to appreciate the different scenery of life.
——In addition to exploring the truth of the matter and chewing on various unexpected answers, I also tried to pursue the extraordinary meaning behind invisibility and the connection with human beings.
Or because I have often worked as a consultant, lecturer or reviewer in the past few years, people I know or don’t know ask me questions almost every day. Whether it is from Facebook fan page, WeChat, LINE, or through email, I can receive many messages from friends or strangers asking me all kinds of questions. Sometimes they ask professional questions in the field of e-commerce, and others ask me how to prepare for exams, make presentations, and even ask me how to do career planning or change tracks?
And because I enjoy asking questions, I always treat the various questions sent by my friends as my own topics and think about them seriously. Usually as long as I have time, I will be happy to answer everyone’s questions; but recently I have discovered that although many people know how to ask for help, they cannot master the trick of asking questions. Even after communicating for a long time, they still cannot grasp the key points and find it difficult to get to the core.
This seems to be a common phenomenon, which is a pity. Many people are eager to know the answer, but ignore the importance of thinking. They don’t even bother to pay attention to how to ask a good question or ask the right question. What’s more, recently I found that some people have forgotten even basic courtesy!
Perhaps, in this era of fragmentation, attention has become a rare currency. It has become a common practice for everyone to focus on quick results or not seeking thorough explanations. But if you don’t define the problem carefully, how can you expect the other party to give you the right feedback?
I find that many people’s questions are very easy to become general. Without providing enough clues or background information, it is often difficult for others to provide specific or useful suggestions. To be honest, I often spend a lot of time trying to identify the real problem, and I even have to put aside the important things first. Thinking about these is very unnecessary.
It is true that when we need help from others, we should actually learn to think from others’ perspective.
If you cannot explain the problem clearly, or focus on a single aspect, it will be difficult for others to provide specific and effective suggestions, let alone give answers. Please remember that the questions you want to ask should not be all-encompassing. Try to focus on a limited area so that the other party can provide his or her feedback or insights.
What’s more, everyone has their own work and life. You know-it’s just a courtesy to be willing to answer your questions, and it’s my duty not to help you.
So, if anyone is willing to answer your question, we would be really grateful. In order to avoid causing trouble to friends and teachers, let’s start by “asking the right questions”!
★ Featured image credit: Alireza Esmaeeli
Further reading
- Are you a potential rookie, or are you ready to compete?
- How do I develop self-confidence? Don’t just imagine, take action
- Should I take certification? Only those with strength can succeed in the workplace
