Read "High-Value Networking in the AI ​​Era": Live your life as a noble person of others first, and your network will naturally come back to you.

In the past few years, a question I have often been asked is: “Vista, you know so many people, how do you manage your connections?” Every time I am at a loss for words. Because to be honest, I never feel that I am managing connections. I just continue to do things well, write down my ideas, and then the right person will come to me (however, my girlfriend did not come to me, woo woo). Sun Luhong (opens in a new tab) This book “High-Value People Networking in the AI ​​Era (opens in a new tab)” helped me break down this unclear thing into a set of methods that I can understand and learn.

Sun Luhong is known as a network architect in the industry and has worked with the Kotler brothers for many years. What makes me nod the most about this book is that it exposes an illusion at the beginning: Likes on social media every day, exchanging business cards and LINE with people in social situations, it seems to have everything covered, but at the critical moment, you can’t find anyone who can really help you when you look through your address book. He calls this state “social illusion” or “relationship asset bubble.”

Networking is not about getting to know more people, but about symbiosis of values

The core proposition of the book is actually just one sentence: Networking is not about getting to know more people, but about establishing deep connections with key people.

For me, who often teaches others to build personal brands (opens in a new tab), this sentence is almost another way of saying the same thing. I often say that personal tag is not announced by you, but is engraved into other people’s minds by content (opens in a new tab) time and time again. When Sun Luhong talks about connections, he follows the same logic: Relationships are not established the moment you exchange business cards, but whether you can output value in every interaction so that the other party is willing to include you in his circle of cooperation. He used the four words “value symbiosis” to explain networking. I think it is much better than the popular networking technique that claims to learn to speak and learn to give gifts. The former talks about what you can create for others, while the latter talks about skills.

There is a tool in the book that I particularly like, called “Value Analysis of Interpersonal Communication”, which is mainly broken down into three steps: recognizing the value of others, recognizing your own value, and analyzing the possibility of value superposition. The most critical thing is the third step. What he asked is: Can this relationship create a synergy of 1+1>2? This actually teaches you not to treat connections as a one-sided request, but to design a structure that benefits both parties. This is consistent with my experience in the workplace over the years: all long-term cooperation is based on mutual benefit, not simple favors.

Turning weak links into strong links is the basic skill of this era

Sun Luhong reminded that the most important skill to practice in the AI era is to turn weak connections into strong connections.

I have very direct practical experience on this matter. Over the years, I have given lectures, run communities, or produced content on the Internet. Most of the people I met were weak connections at the beginning: I met them once at an event, left a comment under a post, or corresponded several times. The real difference lies not in who you know, but in whether you have a set of rhythms to slowly develop these weak relationships into people who are willing to support you at critical moments. The “Three-Level Message Promotion Method” and “Relationship Quality Scale” in the book are about this: turning social interaction based on feelings into conscious management. This is especially great for introverts because it doesn’t give you “you need to be more extroverted” bullshit, but actionable steps.

But the foundation of your network is actually yourself

It would be a pity if after reading this book, you only understand “how to manage others.” The part that I read the slowest and most underlined in this book was the part about personal values ​​in Chapter 5.

Sun Luhong wrote a very important sentence: The extent to which the invisible asset of connections can be utilized ultimately depends on the individual’s inner hard power. He attributed the core value to the way of thinking and uniqueness, emphasizing that it is a dynamic process of continuous self-repetition and calculation, and it does not grow automatically after the completion of basic education.

In this paragraph, I would like to say especially to my friends who are anxious about making connections: Don’t rush out to meet people. Because connections are amplifiers, they amplify your original value. If you don’t have anything worthy of being magnified, no matter how big of a person you know, it’s just a few more names in your address book that won’t reply to your messages. I have been reminding myself and my students over the years: first live your life as a person that others want to actively connect with, and then your network of connections will really grow. This is the same principle as what I often say: “Build your own home first and manage your own land”: once the roots are firmly established, the branches and leaves will come naturally.

The most practical way to develop this irreplaceable hard power is to practice research and writing skills. If you can investigate a topic deeply, think about it thoroughly, and write it in a way that people will remember it, you will naturally become the “something” person in the circle. This is why I made this workflow a course.

AI empowerment, I have both applause and reminders

The title of the book is “AI Era”, and in the end it also focuses on the upgrading of the connection power empowered by AI. The six major AI empowerment mentioned by the author: information processing, target locking, one-stop communication, dynamic topics, etc. I completely agree with the direction. Leave the tedious information sorting, background search and preliminary communication to AI, and let people focus on emotional resonance, something only humans can do. This is exactly the division of labor I do every day.

But as someone who uses AI heavily every day, I would like to add a reminder for everyone: AI is an amplifier, not a ghostwriter for you or me. I have seen too many people use AI to manage relationships, and the result is more impersonal because they let the AI ​​care for others on their behalf. When you use AI to produce a greeting that seems thoughtful but is actually sent in batches, the other party can feel it. AI can certainly help you remember the last time a person talked about your child’s exams, help you sort out the list of people you should track, and help you turn cold information into a warm topic starting point; but what really makes the other person remember you is whether you truly care about him or her. The stronger the tool, the rarer and more valuable the sincerity becomes.

My reservations

To be honest, this book dismantles connections very carefully and turns tools into tools very thoroughly. While reading, I occasionally had a thought: Would it be too calculated and utilitarian to keep analyzing “other people’s value” and “value superposition” like this?

But I saw a sentence mentioned by You Ziyan in the preface of the recommendation, which helped me resolve this doubt: “The essence of connection is to make it selfish by being selfless.” Real connections are not about getting to know more people, but about achieving more people. I later figured it out: the tool itself is neutral, and it is your intention that determines whether it becomes a calculation or a common good. If you use this method to accurately request things, it is thick black science; if you use it to accurately create value for others, it is an amplifier of kindness. What Sun Luhong gave was the latter’s instruction manual. How to use it depends on whoever reads it.

When reading this book, it also reminded me of another recommender of this book, General Manager Wu Jiade. He said: “Getting to know more valuable people can not only enrich our lives, but also make it possible for noble people to come and complete impossible tasks when we are in dire straits.” It’s really a good idea.

The subtitle of this book reads “Connection is competitiveness.” I agree with it, but I would like to add the second half of it: Connection is competitiveness, but the root of connection is always you.

If you have ever looked through your address book at a critical moment but didn’t know who to turn to, this book will give you a very practical inventory and management method. And I want to leave you with a message: Don’t spend all your energy on who you know, spend your energy on who you become first. When you become a person who continues to create value for others, connections will come back to you when you least expect them.

“High-Value Networking in the AI ​​Era: Network Pattern Determines Destiny, Let Every Interaction Accumulate Relationship Assets” is published by Today Weekly, Click here to go to the blog to purchase the book (opens in a new tab). If you also want to integrate AI into your own content and workflow, so that one person can live like a team, welcome to solo.tw (opens in a new tab) to take a look at the online classes and workshops I have opened for creators and independent workers.